Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Laser Treatment Part 3

This has been the most difficult post for me to write. There has been a long pause in posts because of it. I know that once it's "out there" I can't take it back.
The hardest part of laser treatments wasn't the lifestyle changes, it was the friendship changes.
Once I stopped all alcohol, cigarettes and going out, I discovered all this time and energy!! Wow, what the heck had I been doing with my life??
I realized that much of my time had been spent "hanging out",discussing hang outs and planning future ones. With people who didn't remember the plans. I really noticed that if there is a group of people drinking, they can discuss and dissect the same event or thought for a ridiculously long time.
I found myself frustrated at the repetition, the smell and the unhealthy aspects. I began to avoid those places and people until I decided what to do. The emails and phone calls started. People were concerned about me. They wanted what was "best" for me and not meeting for drinks was unhealthy and antisocial. I wasn't "fun" anymore. When I explained that I would meet at the gym or go swimming, that was met with dismay.
One friend actually did meet me at the pool while I did some pool therapy. I was there about 2 hours. They had 2 beers, lit up a cigarette as soon as I left and then went out with the "fun" friends immediately after. The next day they were "hung over" at a another friends birthday party.

I have no problem with my friends who drink. I was there with them for a long time. In fact, I have brought very moderated alcohol back into my life. I simply want to make healthier choices. What is fun for me at this point is reading a great book, researching medical breakthroughs for the disabled, getting to church more often, volunteering, spending time with my children, and taking classes.
When I did a whole food cleanse, the facilitator said,"As your food changes, so do your friends." As we grow and move forward, we meet new people on our path. Not all the old friends will come with us. They're not meant to. They have their own paths. I can't drag them with me or feel horrible that I'm "leaving them behind". This is my life. I am the only one who can live it or make choices about it. As much as I love my friends, they are responsible for their own choices and outcomes.

While I enjoy the Erma Bombeck style of my typical blog, I know this entry is extra casual and disjointed. I'm aware that if I edit, this post may never get out. Thank you for ignoring the lack of structure in favor of the content.